The inevitable ways we contradict ourselves

Can we be living authentically if our actions do not align with our values?

I value sustainability, human rights, nature’s rights, restricting corporate power and healthy living. Given these values, there are things I feel I should be doing. The weight of what I should do is heavy, reminding me of the ways I contradict myself.

Shoulds bump into my thoughts without warning each day. That feeling I’ve forgotten something, distracting me from this moment. The silent guilt as I wonder, am I doing enough? Even thinking about ‘enough’ is exhausting. My mind remembers my actions that prove I don’t care enough. Our minds constantly over think, and have sneaky ways of emphasising our contradictory behaviours.

Am I able to critique societal behaviours if I’m not doing all that I can on an individual level?

Listening to the self-fulfilling subconscious voice ‘if I can’t do everything, do nothing,’ doesn’t serve me. This reductionist thinking leads to inaction. That mindset isn’t going to get us the change we want, the change humanity and the planet needs.

The ways I contradict myself
The ways I contradict myself are based on convenience. The speed or ease of doing something, outweighs my perceived values.

• Blaming inner city living for not composting.
• Wanting a giant veggie garden while also being too lazy to keep a basil plant alive.
• Bringing a reusable bag shopping but filling it with items wrapped in plastic.
• Buying sustainably made clothes but also a cheap impulse lunchtime pick-me-up purchase.
• Wanting to walk to work but only have 15 minutes to get there before a meeting, so I have to drive.

Some ways I contradict myself I should really sort out.

• One night watching In the Land of Plenty documentary.[i] One night scrolling Instagram.
• Daydreaming about living with no personal possessions in a van in the woods. Daydreaming about coffee tables in my future house.
• Vegan, but also how good are eggs and cheese scones?
• One internet tab open to an article on Extinction Rebellion, the next tab is Onceit online shopping.
• Feminist but still waiting for him to ask me out.

Systemic contradictions

That doesn’t mean I can’t critique the way things are. I don’t have to wait until I 100% represent my values. Also yikes, that’s going to be a hard one, given the built-in hypocrisies of our societal structures. It is not you as an individual’s fault, that the system doesn’t allow your actions to align with your values. The current system, built on false assumptions about the world, drives the way we live our lives. The way it contradicts itself does my head in.

• The base of all economic modeling and teaching is that everyone is a rational, informed,man with true free choice. This man is competitive, calculating and individualistic. Unfortunately we have mimicked this false story in history, reflected in our financial, political and economic structures. When in reality we are — and want to be — generous, open minded and community-driven people. The model should acknowledge we are fundamentally interdependent and embedded in the web of life. [1]
• More is good. More spending on anything is good for our nation as GDP, our measure of success, grows. More prisons, health care spending on preventable disease, defence spending and single use products, is good. Enough said? What if our measure of success reflected that we actually valued, for example the depth of our connections and the state of our natural environment.
• The government bans single use plastic bags but doesn’t pay attention to the products we put in our reusable bags. Guess what, they are wrapped in plastic. Is the ban a tactical distraction, putting the burden and responsibility on us as individuals when it’s a systemic food supply chain problem and the government is too afraid to stand up to big suppliers? Food for thought.
• The story we are told about debt is inconsistent. Government debt is to be avoided at all costs. By contrast, debt is both normal, necessary and actively encouraged for typical citizens; be it student loans, mortgages, credit card debts or other loans.
• Housing is a human right and a social issue. Housing is a capital asset and a source of profit. This doesn’t line up.

Those are a few, I could go on and on.

You don’t have to be perfect to critique
Activist and Author Naomi Klein brought me comfort when she said…

‘I’m not apart from the culture that I’m critiquing. If the price of admission to having a critical analysis is having our own perfection, then we’re going to have no movement.’[ii]

Acceptance
This isn’t a ‘get-out-of-action-free’ card. Knowledge is meaningless without action but we must start from a place of acceptance. “That we accept the world as it is, does not in any sense weaken our desire to change it into what we believe it should be — it is necessary to begin where the world is if we are going to change it to what we think it should be”[iii] We will internally combust otherwise.

The ability to see the contradictions between our actions and values is predicated on knowledge of how we want to be. “The ability to tolerate and cultivate contradictions gives us time and space to explore those frictions and grow.”[iv] A conflict implies a tension, that something needs to change. “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”[v]

Take action
From this place of acceptance, focus on what is most important to you and how you can best contribute. Then keep going. You can’t expect to embody all the things you know should change. ‘Worrying about doing and being it all, will destroy you internally’.[vi] Do some things great, rather than doing everything stressfully mediocre. Together we can get shit done and be most effective. ‘Social avalanche comes when we unite.’[vii] The web of all our actions together can cause the systems change we need to live the way we want to.

[1] Kate Raworth. (2017). Doughnut Economics. P. 102.
[i] Incredible documentary on the history of the New Zealand’s economy from the 50s to late 90s — a must watch!
[ii] Naomi Klein. (26 November 2017). Desert Island Discs. BBC Radio 4.
[iii] Saul D. Alinsy. (October 1989). Rules for Radicals. P. xix
[iv] Ralph Ammer. (22 June 2016). Contradict Yourself! Retrieved from https://medium.com/personal-growth/contradict-yourself-7c327139f992
[v] Albert Einstein
[vi] Naval Ravikant. (March 2019). Fireside chat with Naval Ravikant. New Frontiers Festival’.
[vii] George Monbiot. (October 2017). LSE Public Lectures & Events.